Tuesday, July 21, 2009


I cannot sleep. Maybe it was the coffee--maybe it's my being in denial that it will be an early morning and I am going to hate life when my phone starts making obnoxious noises at 6AM. As I sit here staring at my Flickr photostream and my new blog layout I cannot help but think about the coincidence of writing that blog yesterday and what I spent my day doing.

Carmel-by-the-Sea is full of boutiques. Said boutiques are quite pricey. I never go in them and quite honestly I kind of ignore them as I drive by. Today, I was asked to accompany a friend into one because she had what I thought would be a hefty gift card for $150. I walk in and browse through a few price tags and quickly realize that the gift card will not go a very long way... at all. I was so taken aback. Sixty dollars for a tank top. A tank top that looks just like one I saw at Target last week. Most the price tags had at least three digits, the first digit usually being larger than one. I quickly realized that $150 will not take us very far at all today.

Hello, Carmel. My, my, my you have not changed one bit.

I forget that there used to be a time when I did not think it odd to hear that friends were dropping a couple hundred dollars on a new dress or to be shown a new Juicy outfit. No, I was never the owner of said things but I witnessed it all the time. I never spent much money on clothes, but I was used to these numbers; these prices were once average and normal for me to hear people throw around. And as I walked around this little boutique on Ocean Avenue I kept thinking to myself, "There is no material here" and "I wonder how many children could be fed for a week for the price of this..."

Hello, Self. My, my, my how much you have forgotten.

It's funny to me. You know, that people can be so aware of their surroundings and yet still be shocked. I think the scariest thing about today, though, was that I walked into that store and immediately realized that I was not in my world anymore but was able to instantaneously flip on my Carmel-switch when my mouth opened. I hate that I can do that. I hate that I can make people think that I belong. I want to stick out. I want to look out of my element because I know that I am. I wish people could hear my thoughts and not my words because then maybe they would really know.

I know there has to be a reason that I grew up knowing this couture culture while understanding the rest of the world, but I have not yet figured out that reason. So, for now, this is all just a little bit funny.


SCOTT said...

wow, i was just passin' by and stumbled upon your new blog layout. it's really somethin'! the colour hits you (all in a good way of course) did you take the photo? i suppose it makes a differce from all the gloomy dark blogs that i seem to keep sucribin' to, lol. then again mine is pretty black and white...anyway hope your well and gettin' some sleep, lol.

Natalie said...

Scott, thanks! I did take the photo. I almost deleted it about a zillion times so I am glad that someone likes it!