Friday, February 6, 2009

Weather


I like extreme weather. I do not mind when it rains and I especially do not mind when it is bright and sunny outside. And a nice warmth radiating from the sun is always a nice plus, too. This has especially come to my attention while living in Seattle for the past year and a half.

See, I noticed I like my weather like I like my moods: extreme. I like it when it is either rainy or sunny. I hate that in-between state where the sun is poking out from behind the clouds or the fog is bright and blinking is a discomfort. The worst is when the clouds cannot decide whether to rain or not and it does that weird back and forth thing.

I like the weather to be able to make up its mind. Similarly, I like to be able to make up my mind. I think that is why I often feel emotions at extremes. When I am angry I am red-hot angry and when I am sad I am bluer than a whale. My passion for things easily envelop me and I can find myself either ecstatic with joy or heartbroken for the injustices of the world. I can be the happiest, most energetic person you meet. Some days I cannot stop laughing.

This makes me sound bipolar but I do not think that is the case at all. I think I am how I like the weather. I like to feel the heavy rain on my skin or the comforting warmth surround me. It helps me remember that I am alive. It helps me remember that there is this Creator that likes to refresh and renew with water, but that same Creator likes to bring hope and warmth with light.
That's the same reason why I like my emotions the way that I do. I like to feel like I am alive. I do not dwell in my emotions, but I focus on my mood and feelings because they are a catalyst for action. My sorrow and broken heart allow me to speak for liberation and my joy and laughter allow me to bring hope.

I like the weather to be like my emotions because I like to remember that I am alive. And that I am not anything but a mere human who wants to share the world.

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

You make me smile. I'm glad that you're passionate. Who wants to be a half-ass?